Last time I wrote about the schooling system inparticualr limiting us and our freedom subliminally. Another really interesting aspect of our freedom, is influences. The realisation of people’s influences on you can be quite scary to be honest, especially when often people think or accept they’re built or set up, in a certain way, the illusion of human nature. The way we think, talk, act are all totally dominated by such things, naturally we’re in grouped in families and similarities for instance. And that example stands true does it not, traits are passed down generations – of course you are much like your ancerstors, they made you, you’re a mix of them right, well I believe that statement really depends of the use of the word ‘like’. Now slipping back to reality for a second, if you know me I’m always studying my parents, seeing my reflection in them, all their good attributes I like to think I have inherited. Infact often you can compare yourself to them, I have very much developed the same ability to witter much like my mum bless her and waffle on, and I’d like to think I have my Dads sense of humour and ability to be laid-back or a ‘tank’ I might add. Not only these behavioural aspects, yet physical appearance is also influenced as well, I have my mums eyes and colour of hair, and my dad’s height and hairiness, which is not a good trait. Now we may think because of these things that are passed on, out of our control because obviously you can’t choose who your parents are, that it’s that which makes us all very different people.
The truth is, on the outset we’re all actually unbelievably similar genetically. Reffering back to some classic biology lessons I recall that well are all 99% genetically similar to one another, and quite oddly something ridiculous like 50% similar to a cabbage. Anyway, the point is that honestly we all start very very similar, we weren’t meant or born to be different or even ourselves, the changes or the power falls predominately on our influences, surrondings and experiences. I like the metaphor 'we are all blank canvases floating around freely in a sea of people and opportunities that leave inprints on us, give is colour, shape, identity, who we are, what we become'. Examples of this are everywhere, we might be all very similar to our parents or siblings, but in one sense we're not actually born similar in terms of personality of behavioural qualities. Think about your parents. I am a Christian, that’s who I am, alone by myself that’s who I am, but if I ask myself would I be a Christian if my parents weren’t, I think probably not. I’m generally quite a sporty guy as well, now if my family and friends weren’t such big fans of popular sports I know I wouldn’t be so sporty as I am. I talk like my parents, I look like my parents, I act like my parents. I have the insecent ability to witter and talk a lot much like that of my mother. I think it’s quite daunting when you realise the subliminal influence your parents have, which is not a bad thing neccasarily. Just to think about the chances, or the odds, you could be placed somewhere totally different, you could be endless number of things depending on the characters of those around, children are a map of their parents.
But then I question this thickness of blood, question the strength of these difference casused by different influenes. As I have already mentioned, I really don’t think that the way people act is pre-determined by genes at all. As we grow we certainly develop a likeness to our parents but that can be seen as a barrier as often our elders fued over differences, it seperates us from other people when certain differences create tension. Maybe being like someone else is just spending enough time with someone to actually find all you have in common, like a parent you live with. This idea is almost played with when I can relate to having a step-dad and looking at myself. Now my Dad is an irreplaceable figure. Nowadays I live with my Mum and Step-Dad Graham, and even though Graham isn’t my Dad obviously he still plays a massive influence in my life, now I’m old enough and can see it, as it’s not yet a year since him and Alison (my mum) tied the knot. Examples of Graham’s influence are really interesting. Graham, bless him, always says goodbye is a funny way, he always says, ‘bye now’ or ‘cya now’. The revelation is that without knowing it I’ve totally picked it up along with many small traits of Graham, and now I’m also now saying, ‘Bye now’ or ‘Cya now’ to everyone. When I first met Graham , he was a stranger, we weren’t a like at all, but simply spending time with him makes me realise we are actually very alike (were doing 3 of the same A-levels in fact) and Graham slips into the family as if he was always there in some respects. Maybe I’m wrong, maybe he’s changed, maybe I’ve changed, well I know I have with the living verbal example I illuded too but there’s no telling the true influence he has had, probably similar to what I have in common with my parents, which is most things. Maybe even my influence on him has drawn us closer to just a similar type of person, who knows. Furthermore my Girlfriend, Hannah often is saying things I say, or repeating the phrases as such, and I too find myself sounding very much like her in phrasing and termonolgy and dare I say colloquial slang. An unintential point in this is that perhaps the difference created in the ways that people, the differences that can often fuel conflict war and what not, are really weak, and that time, simple time, heals and brings sense that those difference aren’t really inbedded. Time yields common ground, similarities and even more.
The main point of this section is that we don’t really have control over these influences that can shape who we are, people start identical, people are lucky or unlucky, get almost given a mind set, but only once you can think bigger, look bigger can you see the power of influences, and that is often a negative one, once you look, question yourself not bias, of course you would never think badly of your parents until you know perhaps the alternative. And that place is almost very strange and daunting when you can choose or see the effects of influences, what is good for you? What is bad for you? Who are you, actually?
People aren’t made a certain way, potential is equal but performance is anything but, or variation is very prominate, good often or bad. It’s not really a free world, because you can’t choose, or even know what to choose.
To summarise inlfuences are unbelievably powerful. There is a lack of choice, only aided by experience, knowledge and understanding. I’m telling you all this, it’s not a free world, but surely once you can identify such influences and realise you can change certain things. It’s not a free world because people can’t choose because they simple can’t see or appreciate what is going on around and how it effects them. There is a need for analytical thought if you’re not to end up like the majority. Most people never realise or think or question themselves or their family or seek to change, why change? Often only in hindsight can people see they’re wrong or limited, this wider looking develops with certain things in place, like knowledge, experience, intelligence and occurs at different stages, when maybe you can sense true values, respect and trust and are simply in a position of time, reflection, out of your bubble to think. That might not happen for many people. However independent thought allows you to understand the situation, so surely then the potential to break it all down or stop some influences, make more advisable choices. It needs thought and free will to mould your personality.
Often it will be too late for a lot people when they realise such a predickament and that is what takes away freedom, cards are already dealt. Perhaps though that’s a good thing to an extent because you can have too much choice, there’s no winning, and too much choice messes with the mind, prediction is hard, and a quest for perfection is never successful, in a way there’s a fine line. Live well, and let live. To conclude to see such things convinces me, given what I’ve told you, it is still an obligation of those who can see, when and how, to aid, just push, or advise others, in this lob-sided un-free world.
Influences play a big role in our world. They determine every aspect of who we are, yet we don’t choose them, they can be very harmful or very positive. Seeing and understanding the effects helps us, but control and decision making is a double edged sword.
Plenty for thought there...
Well that's all for todays installment, intrigued?? Then check out the next installment tomorrow and the rest of this 5 part series running across this week from monday-friday.
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